Category: Dating and Relationships
Hey all,
This a very touchey subject for some, so /I hope I don't offend or anything. What's everyone's views of couples who are interracial? U know like an african american dating a white person? I just curious because I've read and heard about a lot of people have big problems with this. I don't understand what the difference is if you love someone enough. Love has no boundries.
Although I don't see anything wrong with it, I'm thinking it's because of differences in lifestyle. I don't know if some of them would be stereotyped and others not or anything, but I guess there would be differences in cultures and things like that. It's hard for me to get also, but that's what I've read.
leilani
Exactly I have no problem with inter racial dating as long as the person isn't the type to shove their culture down my throat or yell rascisim if I don't agree with something.which far too many black people are prone to do...
By stereotyped I mean the opinions people have about different races.
Leilani
Yes, I don't know why people have such a big problem with me and Miss Sheepy. I mean, she's a good soul at heart, keeps me warm at night, and she's always horny. The children might come out a little strange, cuz I'm not sure if they'll be two-legged creatures or four-legged beings. I love my baby, and no one is getting in the way of our love, cuz I've got her wool, oh baaaaaah,
wraith! lol! I agree with you tinkerbill, maybe it's a cultural difference thing after all.
Seriously, however: Neither the colour of one's skin, the practices of one's sect, the ideals of one's culture, nor the regimen of one's race should restrict those he/she dates. Dating is fun, it's a time to meet people, to experience being in a relationship... If it be that you're in love with someone of an opposing race/etc and your family says no, I say screw them! Accepting, of course, that you're a minor, your life is completely your own. No one else has to live with your decisions, so why do we worry so much about the approval of others, even if they're our family members? As I've oft times before stated: At the end of day, when you lie down to sleep, you're all that matters. Aught that has been done during the day has been to affect you, and none other. Worry too much about pleasing another will only result in your self-sacrifice. Don't try and make the world happy... make yourself happy, first and foremost. If you love an African American and you're Caucasian, what does it matter? If you love a Spanish and you're Hindu, what does it matter? If you love a sheep and you're human... Oops, sorry, getting self righteous there. Love is love. Let it not be bound by social acceptances, dictations, proprieties, nor mentalities.
I do agree with what has been said so far about someone's race not being a reason not to date them. However, one should be aware of the fact that being married to someone from another culture or belief can make life more complicated. You may have to discuss things other couples never have to talk about, for example if you want your children to be raised in a certain religion... I have a friend whose boy-friend is a muslim. He wouldn't move in with her, because he considered it indecent to do so before marriage... But they are having sex, which actually isn't acceptable either... But at Ramadan he would actually abstain from sex, only without telling her, and she of course felt rejected when she tried... I guess it's hard for him to make decisions on which rules are essencial and which not while living in a country where most people don't share similar values to his... And it's difficult for her to always understand this and to have patience... Like I said, I'm not against interracial dating, I only think people should be aware of the fact that they might have a more difficult relationship than they would have had had they dated someone from their own culture.
Well, while I agree to a large extent that it doesn’t matter who you fall in love with, that as long as you love each other everything will be alright, I do think that cultural differences etc need to be considered. After all while you’re still dating it’s not such a major issue, but if you marry and bring children into the equasion then differences in culture can cause problems. For instance, what if, as a white girl you marry someone from an asian culture who strongly believes that his daughters should be entered into an arranged marriage, would you be happy for yor daughters to be subjected to this? Or what iver you are Christian and you marry a jew or a muslem who believes that his sons need to be circumsized. These may be issues that won’t come up until such time as you have children, and could cause problems then. Also, what if you’re black and your partner is white, your children will be mixed race, a lot of mixed race people have said in the past that they felt they had no identity, that they were neither black or white, and that can cause issues for some. I don’t think it is necessarily just a colour issue, different cultures, different religions can have different issues, an atheist for instance falling in love with a deeply devout Christian might have problems with that person’s beliefs and vice versa. So .. in a sense yes, I do think rcial and cultural and religious differences need to be taken into account. I’m not saying that mix race or culture relationships can’t work, but that people need to go into them with their eyes open, and not be blinded by love alone.
I agree with SB. There's nothing wrong with dating someone of a different culture, beliefs, etc. But if there were to be children being considered, it might be a little challenging in raising them. The partners would have to discuss their beliefs and how they would raise their family.
Leilani
i'm asian and i dated white, asian, german, irish and i have lots of friends from different races and there all cool. i dont have any problem but i think that what they said earlier is a problem the lifestyle, but it does not go on the way if you love someone.
Wraith: Those deep and true sheep-human love stories are just so beautful they make me want to cry, you're a lucky fellow indeed... of course the big problem is how to make sure your sheep really and truly loves you :-).
Seriously, though, I would take SugarBaby's point even further: Yes, if you have very different cultural backgrounds and you have children, you may run into trouble. Furthermore, I believe that in some instances cultural backgrounds can become such a part of one's self-concept that one may simply no longer be attracted to someone of a different cultural background because one sees that person, too, as diffused with their cultural background. I can't think of an example from my personal life, but say, for example, even though there would be no theoretical problem with a fantasy-type elf and ogre getting involved romantically, it's still unlikely because they are, in values and lifestyle, so different that they might simply not find each other attractive, on no individual basis whatsoever but strictly on the basis of the other one's cultural background. This is just a possiblity since it is, on the other hand, entirely possible that this difference might exactly be what attracts them to one another.
like you said, love knows no boundaries, gender included. smiles, right alex?
I think no matter what race the person is you should date them, cuz you love them. It's not the race thats important... To a blind person especially why should looks matter?
It's basically what's inside that counts
Hey, does species count into the equation, too? hehehehe... Cuz me and Little Lamb have got this thing going... and I feel she's the one meant for me! It's not wrong for me to love her, is it? I mean.... She's perfect. She never needs to buy expensive wool coats, cuz she comes pre-installed with one. She never needs any sexual supplements, because she's always horny (yes, bad pun). She never needs to be pushed into getting things done, because she's always firmly on all her feet. These are aonly a few of her qualities! Do you think we could have a chance, me and Little Lamb?
hahahah Wraith!!! I can always count on you to make me smile!!! No, I don't believe that race should matter when being with a partner. As long as you two are aware of how each person feels and can compromise on which part of your culture you two should follow, then it shouldn't be a problem!!! Yay for the sheep!!!
*sexy*
I'm hispanic and I've actually never dated another hispanic. Most of my ex's were african-american and as much as tehy say racism has died it hasn't. We got nasty looks, bad comments and other negative things thrown our way, but I think over all, inter-racial couples aren't seen as so bad as they used to be. I know if I had been in any of those relationships say 10 years ago, the reactions would have been much worse.
My "Mr. Ram-ie" Baaa's out to me giving me to know he is interested in that "Miss Sheepy" of yours, though very fond indeed we, The Mr. Ram-ie and myself are... Lion in the distance Roars out in laughter! (Now that would truly be a mixed intergration, Lambs and Lions)
Lol!! The lion would probably have the sheep for dinner rather than to dinner!!! heheheheeh
*sexy*
I'm dating a guy from India. He is the sweetest man I have ever dated. he sees me for who I ma and not for what I am absolutely in love with him. Sure we clash a little, but for the msot part we are inseperable. It should neve rmatter where you from, but how you feel about each other. anyways, I think accents are hot!
Well it's an interesting one. Unfortunately whilst I do agree, you'll find that family can be a right pain in the ass at times. And it's so hard to go against your own family, personally i feel they should just but out and be done with it but they never do.
I'm the daughter of an interracial couple myself, and I love it. My mother's white and my dad's black, which definitely makes things rather interesting for me. I get to see two completely different cultures, and I'm just as much a part of the African-American (er...Canadian?) culture as I am the traditional Canadian one. Furthermore, experiencing 'both sides of the coin' in a manner of speaking has probably contributed to my ability to view situations with an open mind. As far as my dating preferences are concerned, I have none. I’m just as willing to date someone from a mixed background as I am someone who’s, say, Asian. So there you have it; the prospective of someone who actually comes from an interracial background, with parents who are Canadian and Caribbean in descent. I’d attempt to be more concise, but I’m currently far too exhausted to elaborate further. However, if anyone is interested in having a more in-depth discussion, feel free to gimme a hollah. ;-)
smiles at ellie, i love it girl!
I'm currently in an interracial relationship. I am black and she is white. Not only that, but my gf is also older than me. But we get along really well despite those differences. I just think that you should be with the person you love because no one else is going to pick someone else for you who you'll be happy with.
Well said, Fire. :)
I think it to shouldn't matter. I am married to a white man, and am white myself, however, if he'd been of a different race I wouldn't have cared. Love is what should matter. However, I do think there are a few things to consider. IE, in America there are still areas where mixed children are not accepted, and should he have been of a different race, and we were about to have children, I'd move elsewhere, where it would be easier for the children growing up. It doesn't matter what people think of me, but when it comes to children...Well, I think sometimes children can be creweler than adults. And I most certainly think whether it's a mixed race or culture relationship differences need to be discussed before hand. I know a couple, or sort of know, where he is Jewish and she is Peggan, and from what I gather she does what she wants, but not in front of him or the children...So, they get introduced to his life style, not hers. I don't know if she is in agreement completely, or loves him so suppresses herself, or if she thinks this is the best...
I think most relationships will fail because of two people having different values and kind of culture to work with. What if one is liberal and the other is conservative. Well that’s just an opinion.
I think there is no problem with a mixed relationship, except of course you qwill have problems but what relationship won't, sure you might have more problems then most but the problems just make your love stronger when you work through them, but in the end love and your beliefs are all that matters in a relationship. also if you have different beliefs then you can find some common ground between them or just do your best to maintain the relationship and your beliefs.
It should be like that. But all to often it isn't. Especially if there's strong religious ties involved, they often cause bariers witch either get broken down at a very high cost, or the relationship ends up being utterly destroyed.
I love can not see collor, age, or sex. I think love is not what u see but what u feel. If u really care about what kind of person u r dating, I think that's not really love. But that's just me. Smilles.
In my experience, it doesn't work well, because of an enormous cultural divide. That's only me, though
I don't think race matters at all. I've done it and I'd most deffinantly do it again. I tend to fall for latinos and there sexilicious accents:), but if you're in love, noone should be able to talk you out of it, do what you feel is rite.
yep. i've done it, and would also do it again.
I'm sort of a mixed breed kinda kid: I have some German, some Mexican, some Irish, some of everything. I look kind of Mexican because I have dark hair and eyes, but whatever, I'm basically Caucasian. I've only dated one person and he was Asian. I actually didn't know he was Asian for liek the first three months of knowing him, which I find amusing, and that also proves that race often doesn't factor into relationships at all. I do understand what SugarBaby said about the black-white mixed kids feeling like they don't fit in with either circle. I don't know about that, but I think if you love someone enough, you can strike a happy balance between your cultures and be happy.
Caitlin
I agree with what mostly everyone's said...it shouldn't matter. I'm in an interracial relationship, I'm caucasian and my boyfriend is african american, and I think our cultural differences help us to grow and become stronger. I think if you're dating someone of a different race, it gives you both a different perspective on the world. it allows you to consider things you may not have thought about before and become more openminded individuals.
I think if an interracial couple were to have children and lived in a part of the world where mixed children weren't as well accepted they might wanna consider moving, but if they can work that out between them or move somewhere in the middle of both of the families if that was the issue, then it would be fine. in my opinion moving is a small price to pay for a lifetime of happiness together. what really makes me mad though is when family members disaprove...thankfully my family is cool with us and his are too, but I've heard of some who aren't and that just makes me mad...this is the 21st century and it shouldn't matter who you're with aslong as you love them.
Well said, Jess! Moving is a good solution.
They say that love is blind. Blind she may be but not dense. Color it's self has no real baring on a relationship, but cultural differences certainly do. Should it be that way? No. Is it often a major problem though? Yes, absolutely. It personally drives me crazy when people say, "We are all equal." We are not all equal. We all have equal rights, and an equal worth, but we are not all equal. For example, like it or not most women are less strong than most men. Black people are physically different from white people who are different from Asian people, etc. Pretending that cultural differences don't matter is barrying your head in the sand, because you can best deal with cultural diversity and culturally related problems if you recognize the obvious differences and not only embrace but educate your self about a given culture. I believe that love can overcome anything if both partners are truly willing, and that includes any problems associated with inter-racial dating and marriage.
I generally don't have a problem with it.